Unknown...

Time is too slow for those who wait,
Too swift for those who fear,
Too long for those who grieve,
Too short for those who rejoice,
But for those who live, time is eternity....

Tired....

So, if you have been reading my blog, and stats show that no one is reading yet, then you know my thoughts on relationships. Well, I have found that the one man who truly loves me, I do not love. The one that I truly love does not love me. That's enough to make you tired, huh? Doesn't it seem like the ones we are crazy about just use us? Well, let's not let that happen again! I say use them before they have a chance to use you!

I think God has a weird sense of humor!

You hear people say that you make your own destiny and that everything in your life happens because you manifest it or draw it to you with the power of attraction in some way. Well, here's a story from someone who doesn't quite see it that way, read on.....

When I was 24 years old, I met a man who had just gone through a divorce. We spent almost 8 months together having great times and everything just seemed perfect. One night, he called and asked me to go to dinner, so I got ready and waited and waited and waited some more. Come to find out, he went to meet a friend for a drink and met someone else. I found out because I called him the next day and he told me it was over. I was devasted. A couple of months went by and I just happened to run into him one night and went home with him, which ended up in pregnancy. I went to his house to tell him I was pregnant but he sent me away because his new girlfriend had moved in with him - so I never got a chance to tell him. I decided to have the baby and raise her myself. Two years go by and when my daughter was about a year and a half old, I ran into one of his friends who asked where I got the baby and who was the father. I didn't directly answer the question because I figured we were better off without him in our lives. A few days later, he shows up at my door, telling me that he should have never let me go, but he was getting married. I thought about it for a few days and took my daughter down to see him, but when he saw us in front of his house, he came out and asked me to leave because his new girlfriend (not the one he left me for) was inside and she would freak out. I decided then and there that I had goals in my life and I was going to reach for them and not let anyone hold me down. Fast forward 10 years...a friend of mine calls me up and tells me this man is looking for me. At the time I was living with a man and we were planning our wedding so I dismissed this bit of information and didn't give it another thought. A couple of weeks go by and I happen to run into him at a bar. We ended up talking most of the night and I told him it was closure for me and that I needed to move on. A week went by and he calls me and asked me to meet him again. This time I took my friend with me and right in front of her he says that I am the woman he is meant to be with and that he never forgot me and would do anything to win me back. Like a fool, I left a man who would lay down in traffic for me to go back to the one man I had always loved. He went from "I have never been in love like this before" and "people are going to be so jealous when they see how much we love each other" to "I don't want a committment" and "I still think that you are the woman I am meant to be with, but I need some time." 6 months to the day, he left me a voicemail telling me he just wanted to be friends and he called the next day to talk but I wouldn't pick up my phone. 1 week later, he was out with a beautiful blonde. This is the worst part: the man that I left still wanted me and still felt the same. My question is this - why is it that the men that would lay down their lives for us are never the ones we want to be with, but the ones who break our hearts are the ones we hurt over for the rest of our lives?! Why do we love what we can never have, and why don't we love the men who would do anything for us?

Why?

Ever wonder how a man can tell you that he's meant to be with you and that he doesn't want anyone else, but can break up with you the next day and find someone new the day after that? Why can't it be true that a person really loves someone and they really don't want anyone else. When it's like that, they try to think about someone else, but it just can't happen. They are obsessed. This is not healthy, yet everyone is looking for it.
Let's look at it like this, you love someone, but you don't believe that they are the only ones you'll ever love and you can love as many people as you want.

Serial monogomy. It's replacing marriage and commitment - I mean, you do commit, for now. So Mr or Mrs Right Now never becomes Mr or Mrs Forever.

Wow!

Ok, so we've already figured out that everyone has self esteem issues where relationships are concerned, that's not a new thing. I have someone who emailed me and well, tell me what you think:

Ok, this may sound petty, but it really helps me get over being so shy. I have created a profile on match.com and lied about what I look like. I'm a readhead, but I have it listed that I am a blonde. I have blue eyes, but I have it listed that I have green. I am of average build, but I have on there that I am toned and athletic. My reason for doing this is that I set up dates with guys, have them meet me at a bar and tell them what my profile says I look like, then leave them sitting there waiting for a blonde. In about an hour, when a blonde doesn't show up, I move in for the kill. The next day I email them and tell them that I got back with my ex-boyfriend and can't see them, then they ALWAYS call me because their "other" hookup didn't happen. It saves me from being humiliated in case they don't like me.

This is how it works....

So, this is the truth from a woman's point of view - and all women can gasp and say that it isn't so - but us bitches know better!
It's the age old question for men and women: "Why do nice guys (and girls) finish last?"
Let me tell you why...if you really want to know, then by all means, read on.
Boy meets girl. Girl likes boy because any man that shows interest is worth at least considering, even though women can take one look at a man and know in their hearts whether or not they even stand a shot. It's the attention the woman is getting and we all know that even negative attention is passionate. For the first couple of months, the woman doesn't know when the man will call, when the man will take her out, when the man will make time to introduce her to his friends, and if the man has another love interest. This makes woman crazy, which in turn makes the woman hang by the phone and wait for his call, drop all plans with her friends in case "he" wants to do something and basically rearrange her schedule for him. She no longer goes to yoga class, the weekly scheduled dinner with her girlfriends or anything else that will take her away from her home. Why? Because he could show up at any time. This keeps things interesting (on the woman's part) - not knowing what will happen; the thrill of the chase. They have conversations in which the man exclaims that he is against marriage - to which the woman's wheels start turning: He'll want to marry me because I am different. How could he not want to marry me? He'll change his mind. She then sets the stage for a comedy of errors that more or less make the man aware of the fact that she's desperate and that he can basically do whatever he wants and she will be there waiting. THIS IS A BIG MISTAKE! Why? Because while she's there waiting, lowering herself to doormat status just waiting on him to surface and wipe his feet, she is getting by on whatever little love crumbs he throws her way, proving that she is not worthy of the queen status she deserves. She then calls, emails for texts him constantly thinking that if she really proves that she loves him, he will realize that she is the woman for him and commit to her. She goes out of her way to make the best meals possible and give him the best sex he will ever have! Now we get to "reserve" status - she will always be his reserve woman for those nights when there isn't anything else going on. Why? The thrill of the chase is gone and there isn't anything to keep his attention.
So let's change this story a little. Boy meets girl. Girl likes boy but doesn't really give him the time of day. He calls and she doesn't race to the phone to answer it. Sometimes she will answer and talk for about 10 minutes, but something more important is going on in her life, so she has to cut the conversation short. He calls again and leaves a voice mail; she may or may not call him back - after all, she's a busy girl. He wants to go out on Thursday night, but she couldn't possibly because that is the night she meets her girlfriends for dinner - a date that cannot be broken. He wants to go out tomorrow night - sorry! That's yoga night. He eventually figures out that if he wants to get her out with him, he needs to call in advance, she has a tight schedule. She has her own house, her own career, her own life and way of doing things. He would never think of standing her up or disrepecting her because he knows in his mind that she can and will walk away at any minute because she doesn't need him. This puts into play a different series of events: he respects her and thinks that she is the most amazing woman on the planet. He would never call her at 2 am for a booty call and the thought of someone else touching her makes him crazy. She doesn't answer her cell all the time so he wonders where she is at and works even harder to make sure she's still interested in him.

These observations are true, whether you are the male or the female in the example. So why do nice people finish last? Because it is human nature to want something you cannot have - period. That's the way it has been for our entire existence. Do you want to be the person who waits on someone hand and foot, telling them every 5 minutes how much you love them and would do anything for them? No. Why? Because you will definately be spending a lot of time alone.

Thoughts anyone?

I thought we were friends?????

So this is the first submission that came through email - please remember that all entries are anonymous!

I got married to the guy I dated in high school. We lived a happy life for 17 years taking vacations, focusing on our careers and basically doing what we wanted, when we wanted. We formed a friendship with another couple that we knew from high school and we used to spend weekends together and we all became the very best of friends.

Then the bitch started sleeping with my husband. They started slipping around together, and it had been going on for 6 months before I found out about it. All of those weekends and holidays together, camping, vacations.... the whole time they were getting it on. That's not the worse part; the worse part was how I found out. One weekend we all decided to go to the lake, and packed up and left town. Friday night was pretty much uneventful, although he was very into me that night and we had amazing sex. Then on Saturday night, we drank and I went below deck and fell asleep while the others stayed up and partied. I still don't know what woke me up, but I heard some noises and went above and got slapped in the face with both men doing this bitch on MY boat! I had really thought that we were friends, but seeing your husband taking some slut from behind while she sucked off her own husband kind of ruins things for you.

Needless to say, I tore through all of them like a tornado. After our divorce, she ended up divorcing her husband and it's been 2 years and they are still together!! SLUT!!

This is just L I F E

Ok, so my oldest daughter is trying like hell to follow in my footsteps - don't ask me why! Here is a confession from a serial dater: when I meet a man, I feel like I can't do without them and I want to be around them all the time and cannot keep my hands off of them. Then, for some odd reason, at the 6 month mark, I wake up one day and just realize that I don't want them. It's like clockwork and I cannot help it. I wish things were different, but I am telling you that I could put together a postcard and send it to PostSecret.blogspot.com. I hate that this is the truth, but let's get down to brass tacks here: EVERYONE wants someone they cannot have, it's the thrill of the chase. Once you get that elusive love that you trick yourself into thinking you don't deserve, you wake up one day and say "Man! I can SOOOO do better!"
This is just LIFE - and once you know how to play the game, it's time for your million dollar Monopoly piece.
So I told my girl, don't bullshit me. You can't play a player because I am an Olympian! But it happened to go down in a way that even I don't respect.
My son in law is in Texas all by himself going through the Air Force. He has no family, no nothing - well, all he has are the friends that he met in basic training. I begged her not to call him and tell him while he was alone down there - but she wouldn't rest until she told him OVER THE PHONE.
That's a messed up break up story right there! Please - send the stories in. I will be posting them every week!

This is S A D !

So I got this email today to create my free profile on eHarmony, so I figured what the hell? Might be good research material to meet people and promote my blog and get some good stories, I mean people on eHarmony MUST have at least loved once, right?

So, I take the time to answer some pretty stupid questions, and this was eHarmony's reply (no shit, this is FOR REAL!) please read on.....

UNABLE TO MATCH YOU AT THIS TIME
eHarmony is based upon a complex matching system developed through extensive research with married couples. One of the requirements for successful matching is that participants fall within certain defined profiles. If we find that we will not be able to match a user using these profiles, we feel it is only fair to inform them early in the process.

We are so convinced of the importance of creating compatible matches to help people establish happy, lasting relationships that we sometimes choose not to provide service rather than risk an uncertain match.

Unfortunately, we are not able to make our profiles work for you. Our matching model could not accurately predict with whom you would be best matched. This occurs for about 20% of potential users, so 1 in 5 people simply will not benefit from our service. We hope that you understand, and we regret our inability to provide service for you at this time.

WTF???? I am nowhere close to being a sociopath, and I kinda feel screwed because I was totally honest with my answers! OMG!

Are you serious?

In today's world, relationships can be complex situations that know no boundaries. In the days of independence, no longer do couples meet, marry and stick it out because it was expected of them. Our mothers married for security, and provided the fathers with all of the loving support they needed, whether they were happy or not. Let's face it, a lot of mothers were not happy. Many just resigned themselves to the fact that they were being taken care of financially and secretly numbed the pain with whatever their poison of choice was. In the 60's, a martini and a filter less Lucky Strike were tools of the trade, and the woman happily carried out her daily chores wearing aprons and pumps, waiting for cocktail hour every evening.
I mean, seriously, would you buy a car before you test drove the shit out of it? Well, evidently, back in the day people married without even becoming acquainted with that "freshly rode" smell. Everything was just so romantic, until your first sexual experience, and you ladies thought "I waited for THAT?" By then, you were stuck forever perpetuating the myth that marriage was NOT a forced reality.
So now, singles mingle in an effort to find that special someone who will fill the empty void in their hearts, minds and lives. No one wants to be single and no one wants to NOT be single - it's a catch 22. When things are good, they are great, but when they are bad, they really, really suck!
So this is your chance to show the world that you are not the only person who dated that inconsiderate mental midget - I mean, we ALL have break up stories that would make any sane woman's empathy level go through the roof! Let's hear them girls, because long gone are the days we lived our unhappy lives existing only in the shadow of the bread winner, for we are the bread winners of today.
I am not trying to imply that this blog is for women only, not by a long shot. Most guys have a story of that one girl that tore them apart. The problem with break ups is this: no one will really tell their friends that they were dumped - hard. It's better to let everyone believe that you are a rock, and nothing could ever hurt you.
But we've all been hurt - and here is your chance to tell the world, secretly, about the time that *(%#& did you wrong, and the most horrific way that it came about.
If you would like to post a comment and tell your story, feel free. If you would like to email it, please send it to us.
All email stories will be posted anonymously, and we would never, ever sell your info to anyone. This is a chance to let it out and tell them off! We look forward to hearing from you!